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I Want...
07 June 2008
I want to talk to and about old friends again, for once. I would love to walk down streets I know with a few of my old friends. I want them there when I'm stressed and afraid of going to work for whatever dumb reason I have. I want them there at 3:00 AM when I need to talk about forementioned dumb reasons. I need them here, now.
I've been really out of it today. I did get to see Katie, but only in situations where it was not socially acceptable to be ourselves. We were with her parents, or with Victoria's friends for the majority of the time. No one I felt comfortable being myself around, except Katie. I felt boxed in and uncomfortable. Unable to really think straight about anything. Still, now, I'm incapable of thinking straight. I guess that's why I'm here... Katie wouldn't stay awake and talk to me - she was too tired. It took 10+ calls to wake her... I guess I shouldn't have kept trying after the first two, but I feel really bad. I'm not really sure what to do with myself in these situations without anyone around. I can't focus on my book, and I can't focus on playing a game, or even listening to music. I just want to talk to Katie or be asleep, or just nowhere. These days are the days I need someone there for me, at least for a few minutes. I can hold together myself any other day except days when I feel like this. It's too much for me to handle alone.
I just want to cry and cry right now... but I can't...
listening to: Live at KEXP - Volume 1, 2 & 3
I've been really out of it today. I did get to see Katie, but only in situations where it was not socially acceptable to be ourselves. We were with her parents, or with Victoria's friends for the majority of the time. No one I felt comfortable being myself around, except Katie. I felt boxed in and uncomfortable. Unable to really think straight about anything. Still, now, I'm incapable of thinking straight. I guess that's why I'm here... Katie wouldn't stay awake and talk to me - she was too tired. It took 10+ calls to wake her... I guess I shouldn't have kept trying after the first two, but I feel really bad. I'm not really sure what to do with myself in these situations without anyone around. I can't focus on my book, and I can't focus on playing a game, or even listening to music. I just want to talk to Katie or be asleep, or just nowhere. These days are the days I need someone there for me, at least for a few minutes. I can hold together myself any other day except days when I feel like this. It's too much for me to handle alone.
I just want to cry and cry right now... but I can't...
listening to: Live at KEXP - Volume 1, 2 & 3
What Dumb, Luck
24 May 2008
Not much seems to be going right lately. I quit my awesome job with WDS Global/Verizon. I was making $13/hr, and it was an easy job. Why? I was depressed. I was sad because I'm three states away from the familiar. To be honest with myself I still am not settled in here. It's hard to be strong when you have $5.00 of expendable credit, and nothing else. It's hard paying rent with $5.00... I do have a paycheck coming to me, though. I guess I'll be working my ass off to get a job by next... week...
Other than being a poor mother-fucker, everything is going alright. I still lack friends, but slowly am making some. I haven't really hung out with anyone lately, other than Katie. Which I'm entirely happy about. Without Katie I wouldn't be in Washington. I would have moved home with my tail between my legs whimpering like a poor, freshly neutered dog.
I don't really have any other news. Life is hard. I tend to hate it. I'm sure it will get better -- strike that, I'm sure I will become happier eventually, but for now I can't seem to not be miserable.
listening to: The Magic Numbers - The Magic Numbers
Other than being a poor mother-fucker, everything is going alright. I still lack friends, but slowly am making some. I haven't really hung out with anyone lately, other than Katie. Which I'm entirely happy about. Without Katie I wouldn't be in Washington. I would have moved home with my tail between my legs whimpering like a poor, freshly neutered dog.
I don't really have any other news. Life is hard. I tend to hate it. I'm sure it will get better -- strike that, I'm sure I will become happier eventually, but for now I can't seem to not be miserable.
listening to: The Magic Numbers - The Magic Numbers
Fatherly Correspondence... Or Something
23 April 2008
Again, I don't have permission for this... but I'm doing it anyway. I kinda like it.
[dad]
[me]
listening to: M83 - Dead Cities, Red Seas, & Lost Ghosts
[dad]
Hi Scott,
I finally got the van registered Thursday. Yesterday afternoon was really nice, and I took it for a drive on that road to Sheeps Bridge. I went up the hill toward Colorado City, and turned left on that first road. After a bit I saw a sign for the Hurricane Canal trail head. I went down that dirt road and ended up at the trail head. There was a bathroom and a trail map. I walked along the Rim Trail for awhile till I came to the trail down to the dam. It kind of goes sown the side into the canyon. I went down it for a ways, just to see where it went. There were the most beautiful wildflowers. The Navajo (Indian?) Paintbrush were out. And, the Globemallow are about a week or two from blooming. There were lots of them. I wished I had my camera. I just got the idea to go, grabbed my wallet and phone, and off I went. I was wearing sandals, I didn't take my hat, or camera, or any painting stuff. I think I am kind of sunburned today.
Anyway, I was really impressed with the Hurricane Canal trail system, and really thankful to Laura Thomas for pushing it all through. You should bring Katie out here some time.
How are you doing? I haven't heard from you for weeks. Veronica told Mom that you had a job with Verizon. Where do you work? Are you re-thinking your living arrangements? How are things with Katie?
Anyway, write or call and let us know how you are doing.
Love Dad
I finally got the van registered Thursday. Yesterday afternoon was really nice, and I took it for a drive on that road to Sheeps Bridge. I went up the hill toward Colorado City, and turned left on that first road. After a bit I saw a sign for the Hurricane Canal trail head. I went down that dirt road and ended up at the trail head. There was a bathroom and a trail map. I walked along the Rim Trail for awhile till I came to the trail down to the dam. It kind of goes sown the side into the canyon. I went down it for a ways, just to see where it went. There were the most beautiful wildflowers. The Navajo (Indian?) Paintbrush were out. And, the Globemallow are about a week or two from blooming. There were lots of them. I wished I had my camera. I just got the idea to go, grabbed my wallet and phone, and off I went. I was wearing sandals, I didn't take my hat, or camera, or any painting stuff. I think I am kind of sunburned today.
Anyway, I was really impressed with the Hurricane Canal trail system, and really thankful to Laura Thomas for pushing it all through. You should bring Katie out here some time.
How are you doing? I haven't heard from you for weeks. Veronica told Mom that you had a job with Verizon. Where do you work? Are you re-thinking your living arrangements? How are things with Katie?
Anyway, write or call and let us know how you are doing.
Love Dad
[me]
Hey Dad,
Yeah, I've been really busy lately... With work and spending time with Katie I haven't really been home at all. As soon as I got home I spent three days in Portland with Katie, and then a few more days mostly staying in Mukilteo at their house.
I found the job at MDS Global (a company based out of England that has a slew of different types of contracts, ranging from call center jobs, wireless informatics, and even engineering), doing teir 3 support (more or less what Ryon does...), in two days. I just sent out my resume and got about 3/5 replies. All starting at $13/hr. That experience with Nintendo really helps me out when it comes to call center work. Teir 3 basically means I'm talking to people who are smart, more or less. Some non-smart people will get to us, I'm sure... but it's mostly business(wo)men that just want the job done. I do data support only. So there aren't a million different solutions for a million different problems. In short: it's really easy, and I'm making lots of money. Normally we are going to be getting around 20 calls in an entire 8-hour day. There is a whole lot to learn though. Normally the training I would go through with an internal job in the Verizon would last for 2 months. I'm training for 3 weeks... The job is in Kirkland, but pretty far north in Kirkland near Totem lake. About 10 miles drive from my house. Something like 3.5 mi down I-5, 2.5 mi over the bridge, and 3.5 mi back up I-405.
I've been wanting to move out... but I don't really know where I would go. Studio apartments in the U-District go for about $740/mo plus utilities (on the low end.) Although I would like someone that I know to move in with me, instead of just random people.
Anyway, sorry I've been so out of touch lately. I've just been really pressed for time.
Love you -- and everyone,
Scott
Yeah, I've been really busy lately... With work and spending time with Katie I haven't really been home at all. As soon as I got home I spent three days in Portland with Katie, and then a few more days mostly staying in Mukilteo at their house.
I found the job at MDS Global (a company based out of England that has a slew of different types of contracts, ranging from call center jobs, wireless informatics, and even engineering), doing teir 3 support (more or less what Ryon does...), in two days. I just sent out my resume and got about 3/5 replies. All starting at $13/hr. That experience with Nintendo really helps me out when it comes to call center work. Teir 3 basically means I'm talking to people who are smart, more or less. Some non-smart people will get to us, I'm sure... but it's mostly business(wo)men that just want the job done. I do data support only. So there aren't a million different solutions for a million different problems. In short: it's really easy, and I'm making lots of money. Normally we are going to be getting around 20 calls in an entire 8-hour day. There is a whole lot to learn though. Normally the training I would go through with an internal job in the Verizon would last for 2 months. I'm training for 3 weeks... The job is in Kirkland, but pretty far north in Kirkland near Totem lake. About 10 miles drive from my house. Something like 3.5 mi down I-5, 2.5 mi over the bridge, and 3.5 mi back up I-405.
I've been wanting to move out... but I don't really know where I would go. Studio apartments in the U-District go for about $740/mo plus utilities (on the low end.) Although I would like someone that I know to move in with me, instead of just random people.
Anyway, sorry I've been so out of touch lately. I've just been really pressed for time.
Love you -- and everyone,
Scott
listening to: M83 - Dead Cities, Red Seas, & Lost Ghosts
Change
13 April 2008
A whole lot has happened the last three weeks, or so... A whole lot... I went back to Utah for a week and a half. I hiked, drank, saw movies, drove around, and generally had good ol' times with my friends in Utah.
Before leaving though, I met that other Katie -- Katie Hale -- who I may or may not have mentioned. She is the one who ended up taking me to the airport for my flight to Vegas. We decided it would be fun to hang out downtown for a little while before heading to the airport. We went to an pretty little bookstore/coffee shop. Just inside the entrance of the bookstore there is a big spiral staircase that takes you down to the basement where the coffee shop is located. After being in there for a time we were more or
less out of time for our parking, so we headed back and proceeded to take me to the airport. Nothing really eventful happened beyond that that day. Though throughout my visit in Utah we texted back and forth the entire time, and talked on the phone for 2-3 hours nearly every night. And... to make a long-ish story short, we fell for each other before I even came home, hah. Katie and I are great together. =) I've never been happier, or more comfortable in a relationship. Her parents seem to like me, her brother does -- I like them all. Spending time with her and her family is something I really look forward to.
I am still having money issues, though. I'm no longer at Nintendo (again,) and just bumming around waiting for applications to go through. I still haven't gotten off my ass about my GED... Not having it is a ridiculous crutch, but for whatever reason I'm just not motivated enough to make one phone call and show up in a room on two separate days. I have a feeling that will be done very soon though. Everything is starting to look better for me. I'm finally fitting in here, slowly.
listening to: Coldplay - A Rush of Blood to the Head
Before leaving though, I met that other Katie -- Katie Hale -- who I may or may not have mentioned. She is the one who ended up taking me to the airport for my flight to Vegas. We decided it would be fun to hang out downtown for a little while before heading to the airport. We went to an pretty little bookstore/coffee shop. Just inside the entrance of the bookstore there is a big spiral staircase that takes you down to the basement where the coffee shop is located. After being in there for a time we were more or
less out of time for our parking, so we headed back and proceeded to take me to the airport. Nothing really eventful happened beyond that that day. Though throughout my visit in Utah we texted back and forth the entire time, and talked on the phone for 2-3 hours nearly every night. And... to make a long-ish story short, we fell for each other before I even came home, hah. Katie and I are great together. =) I've never been happier, or more comfortable in a relationship. Her parents seem to like me, her brother does -- I like them all. Spending time with her and her family is something I really look forward to.I am still having money issues, though. I'm no longer at Nintendo (again,) and just bumming around waiting for applications to go through. I still haven't gotten off my ass about my GED... Not having it is a ridiculous crutch, but for whatever reason I'm just not motivated enough to make one phone call and show up in a room on two separate days. I have a feeling that will be done very soon though. Everything is starting to look better for me. I'm finally fitting in here, slowly.
listening to: Coldplay - A Rush of Blood to the Head
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